It's Not Really About the Music

Tonight was my first night back at work after Catskill Chill.  I began a new job in August and since I started, I have taken off three different weekends to go to music festivals.  One of my customers had on a band shirt tonight, so I instantly started talking about music.  He asked me what I listened to. I rattled off a list of bands that I knew he probably didn’t know; Phish, Twiddle, Aqueous, Jimkata (those are my favorites). When I mentioned Phish, his eyes squinted. 

“Are you one of those people that follow bands around?” he asked

I replied telling him that I did a lot of music festivals and that next summer we hoped to go on Phish tour. 

 

He asked me, “What’s so great about these bands that you follow them around?”

My answer to that comes later.  But first, here are some thing you should know. 

I went into this summer with only one expectation and that was that no matter what anyone said, I was hell bent on living my summer through music.  It’s a lifestyle I want to lead.  I know there are many people that don’t get it.  You want to spend your time walking around parking lots at concerts or camp sites at festivals, selling the things you’ve made to follow around music?  I can only imagine that some of my former colleagues or classmates read my Facebook feed with curious amusement.  After a life awakening illness last year, I told myself I would live my life for the one thing that’s always brought me joy and comfort; music. 

I’ve been lucky enough to put my skills out there.  I spent years marketing my own bands and working in radio.  I began to offer my help to various bands and promoters.  The more I put myself out into the scene, the more it came back to me.  I started a small business with my fiancé.  We are hoping that our small business thrives into official event vending opportunities.  We want to officially work at festivals.  We want to work for ourselves, create our own schedules, and not have to explain that our connection to music is more than sheer entertainment.  It’s spiritual.  It’s emotional. It healing. 

My summer ran like a laundry list of what to do.  It started with Mike Gordon at the Town Ball and then progressed from there: Buffalove Music Festival – Grateful Dead Fare Thee Well in Chicago – All Good Music Festival –The first ever Dark Star Orchestra Stadium Show – Phish’s Magnaball Festival – Night Lights Fall Music Festival – Catskill Chill.  I know there are people that did way more than that, but I feel like we accomplished seeing a lot of amazing music. 

But when I look at this list, what I really see is a far more important aspect to my summer and it’s far more important than just the music that made history this summer.  When I look at that list, I see the names of all the amazing people I met this summer.  I reflect on all the new friendships I have made over the last four months.  I feel blessed knowing that my life is filled with like-minded individuals.

A lot of us interact online, through fan pages for various artists/bands or various collecting hobbies that center around music.  We develop friendships over the internet.  They seem genuine, but it’s the internet.  And as my summer went along, time and time again, the same incredible thing happened. 

Sometimes, I would recognize someone I knew from the groups I frequent online.  Other times, they would recognize me.  And with a simple introduction, hugs were shared, smiles were spread, gifts were often exchanged and bonds instantly formed.  It’s an amazing feeling that something as simple as a connection to music can instantly connect you to another human being.  For example, the love I have for Twiddle probably seems ridiculous to my plethora of friends that think my Facebook news feed runs like an eleven-year olds obsession with One Direction.  But bonding at a camp site gloating about how the music makes you feel or sharing a hug with someone when you finally get the song you’ve been chasing – it’s a magical, heart swelling moment that never gets old.  I want to continue to live my life just like this.  Surrounded by the kindest, funniest, craziest and most passionate people I have ever met.  And what’s so cool is that there’s a ton of them I haven’t been even close to meeting yet.

And that’s why this community works. Why the Grateful Dead and Phish have legions of fans that have spent years following a band around the country.  No one is following the band, they are simply following each other.  The music is the common thread in a community of odd balls, nerds, and freaks that love to become the perfect versions of themselves where individually is appreciated.  Being different, having a niche, expressing your style – all of it is welcomed and encouraged while elsewhere in the world people are made to feel like not fitting in is social suicide. 

I was always desperate to fit in with the cool kids.  I suffered through years of snickers and eye rolling (ugh…the eye rolling) when I would try to talk to people about music or express my style.  But I always seemed destined to do me.  It wasn’t until I was 37 years old that I finally found the actual cool kids.  These are people that don’t judge me. These are the people that encourage me to do what I’m best at. These are the people that tell me that the way I express myself, whether it’s through writing, dancing or fashion, is special. Of course that’s not to say those type of people haven’t found their way into my life before now, but never at this magnitude. 

As a species, I feel like we teach children that being the best or being successful is the most important key to self-esteem.  We forget that encouraging others to grow and shine can also build our confidence.  We forget that the pleasure we get from paying someone else a compliment can actually build our confidence too.  I have learned this summer that watching someone have an idea and execute it with success is far more rewarding than being successful myself.

Surrounding myself with people that encourage me to be the best that I can be is the single best thing I’ve done all summer.  Sharing the laughs, tears, hugs and friendships with these folks is by far the best medicine I could have prescribed for myself this year.  Musically, this summer will always be a hard act to follow.  But, it’s pretty awesome to know that as the years continue, I will be lucky enough to grow friendships and relationships with some of the best people I have ever met. 

Tonight was my first night back at work after Catskill Chill.  I started a new job in August, and since I started I have taken off three different weekends to go to music festivals.  One of my customers had on a band shirt and we started talking about music.  He asked me what I listened to. I rattled off a list of bands that I knew he probably didn’t know; Phish, Twiddle, Aqueous, Jimkata (those are my favorites). When I mentioned Phish, his eyes squinted. 

“Are you one of those people that follow bands around?” he asked

I replied telling him that I did a lot of music festivals and that next summer we hoped to go on Phish tour. 

He asked me, “What’s so great about these bands that you follow them around?”

My response, “It’s not the bands that are great, it’s the fans.”

Frends Are Phamly

#truth