Brain Dead and Full of Money

I know that I should just ignore it.  This stupid Howard Stern bit that’s been going around the internet.  And probably there are only two types of people that are listening to it; Phish phans that find the inaccuracies amusing and Phish haters that want any excuse to hate on the bands and their fans.  

If you haven't heard it and want to know what I'm referring to here's a link. 

Relix- Howard Stern - Phish Lot

As a former radio DJ, I understand that sometimes, it’s a slow news day.  Sometimes, you just need a good bit.  But what bothers me about this, is what bothers me about the media in general these days.  This “bit” shows one very small part of a community that is so much more than what Howard and its crew make it out to be.  It’s a spread of misinformation that make a lot of other people look bad.  I’m proud to be a Phish phan.  What Stern does here is make me feel like I have to justify that the 10% he’s showcasing, doesn’t speak for the other 90%.

Yeah, Phish has never had a number one hit.  They’ve had a few songs that got played on commercial radio, but Phish’s music isn’t made for commercial radio.  And as Howard finds out later in the bit, Phish isn’t making chump change.  In the last four year, they have generated over $120 million dollars in ticket sales.  That’s more than pop hit makers like One Direction, Alicia Keys, and Radiohead.  A band without a song on the radio has sold more in tickets sales than the hottest boy band of the last decade.  Think about that for a minute.  If you think that Phish is nothing more than drugs and stoners, you are sadly very mis-informed. 

I call Howard Stern’s bit a “bit” because in radio terms that’s what it is to me.  It’s a fabricated piece intended to create humor with some portion of entertainment value at the expense of someone else’s truth.  I worked in radio for almost six years.  I did these types of bits.  They are planned. They are edited and generally well executed. His intent to explain what happens in the parking lot before a Phish show.  It’s simple known as “the lot” to phans.

The beginning focus of Stern’s Phish Lot piece is the selling of Nitrous Oxide.  Let it be said that he couldn’t have started on a dirty segment of the Phish community than Nitrous.  Most phans don’t like it.  It’s a very small percentage of phans that partake in the activity.  And generally nitrous isn’t really found on lot before the show.  It’s generally an after show party favor. Yes, it exist. But Stern makes it sound like they’re were hundreds of guys running around the lot passing out balloons like cotton candy at the state fair.  The show where these interviews took place were the shows at the Mann Center in Philadelphia.  I happened to be at both of these shows. Did I see tanks? Yes.  Did I see tanks get confiscated? Yes.  But the over exaggeration of how rampant the nitrous activity was at either of the Mann dates nauseating and exactly  what Stern was going for – shock value.  I guess that what he and his crew does best.

Then he moves on to briefly discuss a drum circle that is happening.  And what really pisses me off is that you have a someone trying to actually explain what the lot culture is really about, and they use three seconds off the clip and then move on to talk about acid and ayahuasca.  For those that don’t know, ayahuasca is a tribal based hallucinogen that I’ve yet to see at any show, let alone a Phish show.   Had they actually listened to the drum circle guy, they would have learned that .  But the truth does ayahuasca here is something more than drugs that goes on at a Phish shows.  But that doesn’t keep listeners tuned in and your “Time Spent Listening” at its maximum.  So instead the play more stereotypical stoned Phish phans that are they for the wrong reasons.

Wrong reasons, you ask?  Yes.  They are plenty of Phish phans that are there simply to drop some acid, eat a little molly, maybe some mushrooms, get wasted and watch the pretty lights and amazing music that happens while their phamily make sure they are safe and don’t hurt themselves (because that’s what phamily does.)  But that percentage is so small.  What Stern fails to mention is that the Phish lot culture is far more about other things: being yourselves, meeting other phans, trading fan art, selling your goods to get to the next show, selling water and food to keep people feed and hydrated. Stern fails to mention that there is an entire culture of fans that create art, pins, jewelry, clothing, accessories, and other assorted band related items.  Other people sell the non-Phish related crafts, art, food and drinks.  I watched as vendors on what is known as “Shakedown Street” were forced to pack up their goods because they didn’t permits. Selling of these goods doesn’t hurt anyone.  The fact that cities often force vendors to pack up it ridiculous.  Mike Gordon, the bassist of Phish, is known for going on lot each show and generally snagging up a fan created item.  If you think the band doesn’t encourage the creation of some types of fan art, then you don’t understand the bands business model.  Anything using the official Phish logo, shirts and posters are generally considered off limits. But other than that, well anything that keeps the message going….

The message?  What message? After all Phish is a hippie band that encourages drug use and doesn’t know when to stop a guitar solo.  And to you, that may be the case.  But for those of us that have gotten the message, it’s more than that.    There is a message through Phish’s music that revolves around community, self-love, positive light and energy.  But you would actually have to listen to the music or attend a Phish show to know that. Howard Stern openly admits he has done neither.  And to reduce our lot culture to nothing more than a stoner filled, drug induced, nitrous party is more than insulting.  Maybe to Stern to showcase only one side of the story is amusing because it equals money in his pocket.  But quite honestly it pisses me off.  Because there is a healthy love, light and energy that comes from this community that should be recognized. 

I started listening to Phish many years ago, but didn’t start going to shows and getting to know other fans until October of 2013.  In April of 2014, I was diagnosed with Spinal Cancer that involved two surgeries and an upcoming round of radiation treatment.  I have received more donations, love, support, get well cards, and positive energy from my Phamily, than I have from my own family and co-workers. People that I only know from various online fan arts Phish groups on Facebook have donated their hard earned money to help me pay my bills.  People that have never met me, have sent me boxes of the craziest, funniest stuff just to make my day a little better.  Because believe it or not, that it what Phish, or at least their phans are about. 

And as much as I would love to tell Howard Stern to take his little Phish “bit” and stuff it, that would do nothing more than block the light and energy that I have in my heart.  So Howard, keep at it.  Keep misinforming the public.  Quite honestly, your type of personality and the people that listen to your show aren’t ready for what Phish and their fans have to offer.  Because believe me, it’s a lot more than a balloon filled with nitrous or a hit of acid.  I hope that one day, the light and love that I have found because of this band finds you.  It may find you in another way, but I hope it does. And when it does, I hope you look back on the years of spite, anger and nonsense that you have wasted with sadness in your heart.  Because it’s a shame that someone with so much charisma and so much drive couldn’t find something more rewarding to do with their gifts than spread verbal disease about things to which they have no knowledge.